Writing Portfolio

Moving to Denver

People ask me, why Denver? Why now? I respond with, why not now? Why not Denver? After ending a horrible engagement, I completely lost who I was as a person. He asked me to quit my job months before our engagement ended, drained our bank account while I was on a layover in Japan, and told me I was to move out of our house and leave everything in it. 

Feeling insanely lost and confused, I did what I thought any girl would do, take a trip to a city I've never been to and visit my best friend. It was February 5th, 2019 that I boarded my flight home back to the Pacific Northwest with new dreams and ambitions on the brain. I started applying for jobs in the Denver area; most of them being Executive Assistant jobs. On February 20th, 2019 I got a call from a company in downtown Denver wanting to hire me. I flew out for a couple interviews and on March 8th, 2019 I packed my life up and began my move to Denver, Colorado. 

I was in desperate need to rediscover my independence and the person I wanted to become following the ending of my engagement. It was just my engagement that ended, it was a season in my life and a person who gained a newfound resilience. I started out at a new company with new co-workers, in a new home, surrounded by new friends. It was one of the best and hardest moves I have ever made. I felt free, empowered, independent, and also very unsure. 

I was unsure where this newfound independence would leave me. I missed my family back home and my friends of course, but knew that this was something I needed to do for myself. It was the first time I had lived by myself and though I was terrified at first, and very lonely, I adopted a cat and found to love the time I had alone. I made the rules, could come and go as I pleased, could have visitors visit whenever I wanted; it was complete freedom. 

After months of loving my new home and plenty of time to think of where this new career would take me, I discovered a path that I covered up for so long; teaching. I always wanted to be a teacher but let the fear of failing and doubt get in the way of pursuing that. I was nervous I wouldn't be great and I was not smart enough. This move made me stronger, more confident and reassurance in my ability to be successful in whatever I put my mind to. 

Moving to Denver led me to education and to pursue a passion I before, was too fearful to follow. Moving back from Denver felt different because I was different. I felt accomplished in a way I had never felt before. I was ready to start this new season and chapter in my life. 

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I am from...

 I am loved from every room in the house, just as the scent from the volcano candle wanders throughout.

I am from the smell of family dinner Sunday evening with everyone gathered around the table (sweet, savory, and scrumptious.)

 

I am from the organized drawers in my bedroom, with dividers separating clothes, sweat suit sets in every color that are divided by weight, color and occasion.

 

I am from the willow tree in my backyard where you can hear the leaves blow and the hammock swing, the peace and calmness flood my brain with memories of enjoying quality time with family and friends.

 

I am from the salty bag of chips I decided to snack on before dinner, just enough to satisfy my craving but not enough to take away my appetite.

 

I am from leotards and dance costumes. Glitter and glam for hours. Make-up caked on your face, tired feet and sore bodies. It was all worth it. I love to dance.

 

I am the organizer, the one who tries to keep everything and everyone in order to make life a little easier and stress less significant.

 

I am the eyeglasses that people used to make fun of growing up but are now seen as a fashion statement worldwide. I love my glasses, all colors, shapes and sizes.

 

I am from the books, binders and endless amount of notes I have piling up on my desk. I have always enjoyed school as school not as my passion. Although school is not my direct passion, it is my pathway to the final destination; teaching.

 

I’m from the cats meow and the bees knees, the cool, calm and collected. From a family that started off with five and continues to grow. I love my family. I love my friends. I love this life.

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Baseball is Life

I was born in San Diego, California in December of 1990. We moved to Vancouver, Washington when I was two years-old. My mom and dad decided to build a home in a neighborhood close to my grandparents since we were very close to them. When I asked why we didn't stay in California, my dad's answer was simple; family. We were very close to my mom's parents who were just 35 minutes south in Boring, Oregon and three hours from my dad's three brothers, sister and parents in Seattle, Washington. Of course, my dad also had to include he wanted to live in a state with no income tax, and close to a city with no sales tax since his career allowed him to choose a home-base of his choice.

The neighborhood we lived in for the first six years living in Vancouver, was full of children. Lots of families ended up building in our cul-de-sac. We had lots of friends and were constantly outside playing games like kick-the-can, making forts in the park, kickball games with the rest of our families, and picnics every Sunday in the Summer. 

I would like to think my childhood was always blissful and for the most part, it was, but like any childhood, you have ups and downs. Those memories I have living in that home were amazing but some are also filled with a little sadness. Many from the outside viewed my life as easy, fun, and carefree. I am not downplaying how grateful I am, because I am very thankful for my upbringing, but there were many struggles as well just different from my friends. 

People think growing up with your dad as a professional athlete meant an easy life with lots of advantages, but it came with a lot of sacrifice and disadvantages as well. Moving mid-school year and starting somewhere completely new, making brand new friends, city after city, missing out on school events and memories made with people back home that I loved. There were times I would go weeks without seeing my dad, and occasionally months. Seeing your friends attend father/daughter activities or dropping them off at school was extremely difficult. Thankfully those were just bumps in the road we needed to get through before we, or he would be joining us again. 

These are some of the exact reasons why my parents wanted to be close to my grandparents. My mom would always take us to her parents house for sleepovers, dinners, just to hang out and run around, or if she needed to leave for an extended time to see my dad. They lived on three acres, had a beautiful large garden that we often helped picked vegetables out of, and a forest behind them with lots of trails for us to adventure on. Growing up so close to them is something I will always be incredibly grateful for. Having them near for the holidays, birthdays and family events is something I will cherish forever. 

I loved the life I lived growing up with my dad playing baseball. I am grateful that he was able to provide us a very safe and comfortable life and for that I am eternally thankful. My parents showed me the love that I hope to one day have with a spouse as well as with my own children. They showed me the importance of family and that at the end of the day, that is what matters most; they will always be there for you. 

When you look at someones life or family, just remember, we all have a story. Our stories make us unique in many different ways. Thankfully our stories shape us are also what brings different people together. Growing up traveling, instilled and outgoingness in me, developed my love for travel and adventuring new places, but most importantly to never judge a book by its cover. Always extend kindness for you have no idea what someone else is going through. We all have stories to tell, we just need to take the time to dive deeper and listen.

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Dear Papa...

He was always my biggest fan.

I was always his little peanut.

Trading stories and listening to each others laughter was one of my favorite things.

Sitting on the back patio, drinking a cold Coors Light watching the golfers was a favorite weekend activity.

I look at him now, peacefully a vegetable.

Wishing for one more conversation.

Another voicemail to hear his laugh and say, "I love you."

Even in his coma state, I whisper, "I love you Papa."

As my head lay on his chest, hearing it struggle for breaths, he whispers back, "Love you peanut."

When I wake at 5:30 AM the following morning, he had passed.

Peacefully in his sleep with his daughters sleeping by his side. 

Though always in my heart, never fully leaving me.

Walking through all the moments with me here on out in my life.

Now not alone, but with his wife, my grandma. 

I will forever and always be his peanut.

I will forever and always be their little girl.

I love my papa.

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Christmas Time

When I think about my favorite holiday, Christmas is the first one that comes to mind. Not only is December the best month for that exact reason, but it is also my birthday month. How lovely is that? Lights, cheerful music, and everyone gathering with their loved ones, are just a few things that get me excited. Although this year will look a little different, I am still finding the joy in this time. 

Growing up I loved Christmas, but didn't always love that my birthday fell during one of the busiest months of the year. Being so close to Christmas meant lots of family gatherings, friends leaving for out of town, or going on vacation for Christmas break. After a few years, I learned to love it for other reason like the immense amount of joy people exude all through the 31 days.

When I think of the month of December, there are bright lights everywhere, jolly music constantly playing everywhere, and at times crisp air with white fluffy snow covering the ground. Turning the fireplace on and drinking a hot cup of apple cider could change anyones mood. Grabbing a fuzzy blanket and cozying up for a movie like Elf, Christmas Vacation, or Four Christmas' brings the family together. 

I love watching the classic holiday movies, but nothing gets me more excited than the Hallmark Christmas movies that begin playing just after Thanksgiving. My mom and I love those and enjoy when my dad or boyfriend join in for some. I think what I love most, is they are such family friendly movies. When the whole family gathers, the young ones are able to watch the movies with the whole family and that warms the heart. 

This month is filled with so much quality time with my family and friends and those are memories I treasure most. I understand that the holidays can also bring sadness and heartache to some, even to myself at times, but then I remember the memories of those who are no longer with us and how much they loved this season as well. This year will definitely be a winter holiday of mixed emotions for me being that both of my grandparents I was closest to are no longer with us. What keeps me going, is knowing how much they loved this time of year and how happy they were when we were all together. 

So when I am feeling sad or down, I think of them, I think of how much they would want me to be enjoying this Christmas focusing on all that we do have. That with this pandemic going on, I still have my family and our good health. I remember to enjoy life, and celebrate it with family and friends the way they would want me to, the way we should because we are able.